This morning I went to the same Wildlife Office as before because there was a sign that said Ladakh Hill Development Council, which was whom I was going to try to meet with today. But I asked someone at the door, and they laughed and said no it wasn’t and then gave complicated instructions that I wasn’t sure were in English, so I found a phone to try to call Moses K, my contact in the office. I told him I was at the taxi stand and he said “oh, good!” my heart leapt! I was in the right part of town after all! Then he added “Take a taxi to our offices.” At first I thought I’d try to walk, because one of my crappy maps of Leh showed it not too far away. But I lost my confidence partway there, and went back to take a taxi.
There was no red carpet at the place and though there were several police asking my business, I think it was mostly to help me, since there were no metal detectors involved. I met with Moses, though he quickly got me audience with his boss, the chief executive council (woah) of the Ladakh Development Board. “You can stop wasting your time with me” said Moses. I had a brief meeting, which seems to be par for the course. I’ll try to remember to set up, or plan on these pre-interviews. We made an appointment for tomorrow morning at his house for the real interview. Then I ent back to Moses’s office for some tea. The was very nice, though the small talk was somewhat belabored. In the end, he asked me to email him If I needed any help, and to let him know all the places I’d be going so he could see if he could find me any help there. So nice of him! I saw some stupa-eyes, and we talked about religion some, so I asked if he was Buddhist. Surprisingly, he was Christian, and the stupa-eyes were a gift from Nepal. I guess I did only see those eyes on the stupas at Nepal. He got me a car back to the market, which was incredibly nice of him. The driver and his companion were very amenable, but I don’t think they spoke much English.
Next I went to see if Jigmet Dakpa was back in his office after yesterday’s emergency. I didn’t see him in there at first, but he was in the corner eating his lunch. He finished up quickly when he saw me, which might have made me feel bad, but everyone is so happy and friendly, it’s hard to feel bad about anything here.
He said he could do the interview now, but when I started to set up the camera, he balked, even though we’d talked about it. So I ended up not recording, but taking detailed notes, which I hope I can read later. I better type them up quickly while my memory is fresh. He was very kindly and seemed amused by the lacunae in my knowledge. A few times as he gave me a lesson, he would jovially command “Educate yourself!” he studied as a civil engineer then switched to forestry and studied the 2 ½ years at FRI! So we talked about little about Dehradun.
I then called the name I’d gotten from the CEC, at the PPD. He said to try to come by that day, but I only had ½ an hour to get to his place. I went back to the hotel to get some supplies, but it took longer than I thought to walk back from where I was, so I’ll have to see the guy tomorrow, which he said was OK.
Sarah and I had a long tea to kill time before meeting Lena, Catherine, Nadine, and whatever entourage they had picked up that day, for dinner. They’d picked up a couple of Aussies and a guy from Detroit, for their Sunday bike ride. Dinner was nice, though I was still full from my Nutella pancake.
We slept on the roof again, and watched the Watcher in the Woods, as well as the stars, which were amazing. I saw a few fall.
Wednesday, July 9, 2008
Tuesday, July 8, 2008
Leh: Day 2
I think the acclimatization caught up with me today. I went into the office for the second, “real” interview with Mr. Dakpa, but he wasn’t there. So I ran back to my hotel, leaving my camera and stuff all set up. Of course I was completely out of breath, but that had been normal since I got off the plane. I grabbed some extra cash, which is what I had gone back for, and then ran back to the office, where he still wasn’t yet. After sitting a little longer, adding a few potential questions to the trough, someone came up and told me he’d had an emergency meeting with the electoral council, or something like that, so might not be in all day. I was disappointed, but I said I’d come back later. I packed up my stuff and went to the post office on the way to the internet place. I mailed all 51 of my postcards, and I only have about 15 left to write. It took forever to lick and affix 102 stamps, but I was able to listen to interesting conversations of other tourists.
I went to an internet place to write down the contacts information for some people because I didn’t feel like going all the way back to the hotel.
I went to an internet place to write down the contacts information for some people because I didn’t feel like going all the way back to the hotel.
Monday, July 7, 2008
Leh: Day 1
I just finished up a pre-interview with Jigmet Dakpa, who works in the Department of Wildlife Protection as the Conservator of Forest (Wildlife). Dr. Hussain had recommended the Wildlife Warden, Tahil Shawl, but when I called him, he was out of town, so he gave mr Mr. Dakpa’s number, and Mr. Dakpa said he could only meet today, so I rushed to get ready to meet with him. He was already meeting with a journalist/documentarian, Janki Kathayat, who was doing a few projects on climate change and wildlife in the Ladakh region. She also turned out to be incredibly helpful, so I really lucked out. They both recommended a lot of government agencies to go in town, and by the end of the interview, Mr. Dakpa even offered to give me a guide to take me around to these offices tomorrow, since they are difficult to find online.
Both of them also recommended I visit Jammu, if not Srinagar, to talk to farmers in the villages of the area, particularly right along the border. Ms. Kathayat offered her help in getting me military clearance to go there, which is unbelievable, but I’m still not sure of the safety issues. She said if I went with a local person, they would have a better sense of when there is real danger, and when not. This may be so, but she also makes “finding some farmers to talk to” sound like a simple task, when it’s been one of the most daunting of this whole project. She also looked at my release form, and said it was pretty standard, and she doesn’t have trouble getting hers signed for her documentaries. She also said there was no need to get it translated because people in Ladakh speak better English than they do Hindi. Their native languages are too varied for translation into all of them. So that’s good news—no translation needed. Whew!
In Jammu, specifically, Ms. K particularly suggested visiting Joria, Lacampur, Callor, Undamphus. Not sure of spellings of any of these. Joria is very agricultural. Also look into the Iggo Phey canal in Ladakh. It’s nearly complete, but there’s no water for it from the Indus—here, before its tributaries dump water, it is very small. Himas. They recommended talking to the Flood Control Department, and the Command Area Development Department, which builds canals, for one thing. Meet with administrative staff as well as ministers, and as well as locals. Meet with the External Affairs Ministry in Delhi, regarding the Indus Waters Treaty. Also look into the Neemo Bandgo aachi dam project, with Mr. Sharma as the project manager. Look at Spituk, a village. Meet with the Board Development Corporation and the Board Development Department. Go to Chogiasmsar (part of the city) for these guys.
Ms. K’s documentaries: Human Invasion, about turtles in the Sunderbans mangrove system (island, very large, a few hours from Calcutta). Survival Sunderbans, about the River Lung in the valley.
Both of them also recommended I visit Jammu, if not Srinagar, to talk to farmers in the villages of the area, particularly right along the border. Ms. Kathayat offered her help in getting me military clearance to go there, which is unbelievable, but I’m still not sure of the safety issues. She said if I went with a local person, they would have a better sense of when there is real danger, and when not. This may be so, but she also makes “finding some farmers to talk to” sound like a simple task, when it’s been one of the most daunting of this whole project. She also looked at my release form, and said it was pretty standard, and she doesn’t have trouble getting hers signed for her documentaries. She also said there was no need to get it translated because people in Ladakh speak better English than they do Hindi. Their native languages are too varied for translation into all of them. So that’s good news—no translation needed. Whew!
In Jammu, specifically, Ms. K particularly suggested visiting Joria, Lacampur, Callor, Undamphus. Not sure of spellings of any of these. Joria is very agricultural. Also look into the Iggo Phey canal in Ladakh. It’s nearly complete, but there’s no water for it from the Indus—here, before its tributaries dump water, it is very small. Himas. They recommended talking to the Flood Control Department, and the Command Area Development Department, which builds canals, for one thing. Meet with administrative staff as well as ministers, and as well as locals. Meet with the External Affairs Ministry in Delhi, regarding the Indus Waters Treaty. Also look into the Neemo Bandgo aachi dam project, with Mr. Sharma as the project manager. Look at Spituk, a village. Meet with the Board Development Corporation and the Board Development Department. Go to Chogiasmsar (part of the city) for these guys.
Ms. K’s documentaries: Human Invasion, about turtles in the Sunderbans mangrove system (island, very large, a few hours from Calcutta). Survival Sunderbans, about the River Lung in the valley.
Sunday, July 6, 2008
Long day of travel from Dehradun to Delhi
Today I left the Wildlife Institute. It was so nice to have all those facilities to use for that week. I feel really behind on everything because of the days of traveling I took first, but at least this way I won’t lose momentum by traveling in the middle, or at the end.
I spent the week reading reports, looking up contacts online, looking up data online. Besides the data, it was basically what I’ve been doing to a lesser degree already on this project. The first day I had access to the internet, Saturday the 28th of June, I worked for 10 hours straight, and got myself locked out of the dorm, so I slept in Dr. Badola’s office. Luckily she had a couch.
At the moment, I’m in the airplane on the way to Leh. “On the way to Leh,” heh. Outside the window is a glorious view of mountains capped with snow! I know a pictures would come out crummy, so I won’t even bother. But it’s beautiful, with the black and white relief.
Anyway, Dr. Badola and Dr. Hussain at the WII were so incredibly helpful. They pointed me in the direction of different contacts for the same organizations I’d identified, more specific names and emails, different from the heads of the office I’d found, and who are so uncommunicative.
On Thursday, I finally sat down to call the people who didn’t answer by email, or for whom I didn’t have emails. Some were helpful by phone (the Central Water Commission quickly gave me two contacts in the areas that are better suited to the project, Chandigarh and Simla), and some were incomprehensible. A few for whom I had no email address, and who were having trouble with the language barrier, asked that I send them an email so they could better understand what I was doing. However, I think I must have written their emails down wrong. The accents can sometimes be so heavy.
Now the mountains outside are brown and rocky. They are so barren! I’ve never seen anything like it. It’s like being on another planet, or the moon.
But enough about my progress, or lack thereof. I need to talk about my nightmare of a day. I’m constantly tied up in knots about days of travel, and it turns out I have good reason to be. Today went about as badly as possible, without me actually missing any connections. So I don’t know if this will make me more nervous about travel days, or less, since it could barely get any worse. I’ll go into detail because I’m so baffled by the whole ordeal.
I thought I had it all under control when I got a fellow student at the WII to order me a rickshaw to come up to the campus and take me to the Interstate Bus Terminal (ISBT). However, as I was walking up to the rickshaw, a couple outright stole it from me! I was dumbfounded by how blatantly rude they were. So I had to order another rickshaw, at cost to myself in the form of the STD/ISD/PCO phone calls that were made. This rickshaw offered me a price 40 rupees higher than the other one would have been. I’ve been in no position to bargain all day because I really needed to go to wherever I was going, and needed to get there quickly. So I didn’t argue much. But it was frustrating that Sahas’s work negotiating me a good rate was also stolen by that couple. So, I got to the bus station much later than I meant to—it was about 2. Some of this lateness was my fault—not realizing how long it would take to close up shop, pay for room and board etc, at the WII hostel. Packing up wasn’t too bad because I’d done most of it the night before. I left my suitcase in the office of the hostel, so hopefully it will be safe there. Dr. Hussain must have forgotten to tell them I would be doing that because they seemed really unsure about the process when I finally was able to communicate that I wasn’t taking it with me.
So, I got the ISBT, and went window to window, trying to find some information about when and where the next Delhi bus was. I was happy to take deluxe, non-, AC, or non-. But no one spoke English at the first two windows. Either that, or they just blatantly ignored me. I’m not really sure what’s worse because when they don’t speak English well, they tend to tell you “yes” no matter what you ask, which is confusing, and they tend to tell you any answer rather than figure out what you’re actually asking and figuring out how to tell me the correct answer. So the first information I got about the “next” Delhi bus was that it was at 10;30, which I knew was false because they went hourly, even on Sundays. Finally, someone who spoke good English told me where (stall 40) and when (3pm) the bus would be leaving.
I went to sit near stall 40 and waited. And waited. And waited. Finally a bus pulled into stall 39 at 3:15. I asked the crowd that instantly thronged around the bus whether it was going to Delhi. But I was told “They are taking Jaipur riders first.” At first I thought maybe the bus was going to Jaipur via Delhi, so I wasn’t too concerned. But then someone told me I should get in line for the bus tickets, which was weird because I knew the tickets were sold on board the bus. But I went and got into the “line” just in case. The “line” consisted of a group of Indians, all with cash in hand, thrusting it towards the attendants. I guess whoever got the cash snatched up was first in line. Eventually, from scraps, I picked up that the bus was basically being auctioned to either Delhi or Jaipur—whichever group bought the most tickets. Which seems like an unsustainable system. So we were still in line for the regular bus that would leave later, which let me tell you, looked a little grim. First of all because there were about 50 people in line, and second of all because the bus really looked uncomfortable. I hadn’t been set on having AC or a “deluxe” bus, but a little room for my huge backpack would have been a must. But that one sold out, and there were no prospects for another because of the rain, I guess. And this rumored landslide.
Luckily, I found three kids (students) in the same predicament, and long story short, we decided to share a taxi back to Delhi. I offered to pay more for it, and in return they offered to accompany me on the second part of my trip to VasantKunj, Jenny’s part of the city. They said it wasn’t safe riding alone at night. Ignoring the part where I’d only just met them an hour before, I could tell they were being quite chivalrous, and I know for sure now that I made a good character judgment in the end.
I had really looked forward to sleeping on the bus since I hadn’t slept much the night before, up late packing, up early paying off debts and having breakfast. But the boys kept asking me lots of questions and wanting to chat, which was sweet, but annoying when they would do it right as I dozed off. They got me some dinner, chat and some paella, as well as a lassi and a piece of gum.
Finally, I arrived at Jenny’s, where she took good care of me, and then I slept for one blessed hour before the taxi I ordered was due to arrive. Only, it never came. I tried calling them (waking Jenny to get the number), but they had no record of the order. Just as I was ordering another one, a rickshaw drove by, so I was able to catch it. This was very lucky because if I’d been in that neighborhood any longer, the packs of dogs would have probably torn me apart. Nothing swayed them or scared them.
Got to the airport, had been dropped at the wrong terminal and abandoned. Another auto driver offered to take me to the other terminal for 100 rupees! It was ridiculous. I said I’d walk, but he said it was 4 kilometers the back way, which was a mistake on his part. I said I’d pay 40 rupees max if it was 4 kilometers. After all, he’d still be at the airport and able to get another fare right away. He said OK, and he drove me what was significiantly less than 4 km. I got out and gave him a 50, but he said no, and demanded a 100. I argued with him but he was obstinate, as if we hadn’t had our bargaining conversation at all. Finally, I gave him the 100rupee bill that I’d been carrying around for weeks because no one would take it—it was really ratty and had some weird stickers on it. He tried to give it back to me, but I was so angry at him, I jumped out of the auto and said “Huh! I guess you should have taken the 50 after all! Hope you’re happy with your life.” And ran through the ticket gate to where he couldn’t follow. I hadn’t been that angry in a very long time. It was partly because I’d had such bad transportation luck the whole day so far.
After that, it was pretty clear sailing. I got through the tickets bureaucracy pretty easy, thanks to going to Nepal, and was sitting in the terminal waiting, a full hour before the flight took off. There was a slight delay once we got on, maybe because of the rain. They served breakfast, and gave water, and I had taken my altitude sickness pill, and I was sure things would be looking up. And as you saw from my interjections earlier in the entry, things certainly looking more beautiful.
I spent the week reading reports, looking up contacts online, looking up data online. Besides the data, it was basically what I’ve been doing to a lesser degree already on this project. The first day I had access to the internet, Saturday the 28th of June, I worked for 10 hours straight, and got myself locked out of the dorm, so I slept in Dr. Badola’s office. Luckily she had a couch.
At the moment, I’m in the airplane on the way to Leh. “On the way to Leh,” heh. Outside the window is a glorious view of mountains capped with snow! I know a pictures would come out crummy, so I won’t even bother. But it’s beautiful, with the black and white relief.
Anyway, Dr. Badola and Dr. Hussain at the WII were so incredibly helpful. They pointed me in the direction of different contacts for the same organizations I’d identified, more specific names and emails, different from the heads of the office I’d found, and who are so uncommunicative.
On Thursday, I finally sat down to call the people who didn’t answer by email, or for whom I didn’t have emails. Some were helpful by phone (the Central Water Commission quickly gave me two contacts in the areas that are better suited to the project, Chandigarh and Simla), and some were incomprehensible. A few for whom I had no email address, and who were having trouble with the language barrier, asked that I send them an email so they could better understand what I was doing. However, I think I must have written their emails down wrong. The accents can sometimes be so heavy.
Now the mountains outside are brown and rocky. They are so barren! I’ve never seen anything like it. It’s like being on another planet, or the moon.
But enough about my progress, or lack thereof. I need to talk about my nightmare of a day. I’m constantly tied up in knots about days of travel, and it turns out I have good reason to be. Today went about as badly as possible, without me actually missing any connections. So I don’t know if this will make me more nervous about travel days, or less, since it could barely get any worse. I’ll go into detail because I’m so baffled by the whole ordeal.
I thought I had it all under control when I got a fellow student at the WII to order me a rickshaw to come up to the campus and take me to the Interstate Bus Terminal (ISBT). However, as I was walking up to the rickshaw, a couple outright stole it from me! I was dumbfounded by how blatantly rude they were. So I had to order another rickshaw, at cost to myself in the form of the STD/ISD/PCO phone calls that were made. This rickshaw offered me a price 40 rupees higher than the other one would have been. I’ve been in no position to bargain all day because I really needed to go to wherever I was going, and needed to get there quickly. So I didn’t argue much. But it was frustrating that Sahas’s work negotiating me a good rate was also stolen by that couple. So, I got to the bus station much later than I meant to—it was about 2. Some of this lateness was my fault—not realizing how long it would take to close up shop, pay for room and board etc, at the WII hostel. Packing up wasn’t too bad because I’d done most of it the night before. I left my suitcase in the office of the hostel, so hopefully it will be safe there. Dr. Hussain must have forgotten to tell them I would be doing that because they seemed really unsure about the process when I finally was able to communicate that I wasn’t taking it with me.
So, I got the ISBT, and went window to window, trying to find some information about when and where the next Delhi bus was. I was happy to take deluxe, non-, AC, or non-. But no one spoke English at the first two windows. Either that, or they just blatantly ignored me. I’m not really sure what’s worse because when they don’t speak English well, they tend to tell you “yes” no matter what you ask, which is confusing, and they tend to tell you any answer rather than figure out what you’re actually asking and figuring out how to tell me the correct answer. So the first information I got about the “next” Delhi bus was that it was at 10;30, which I knew was false because they went hourly, even on Sundays. Finally, someone who spoke good English told me where (stall 40) and when (3pm) the bus would be leaving.
I went to sit near stall 40 and waited. And waited. And waited. Finally a bus pulled into stall 39 at 3:15. I asked the crowd that instantly thronged around the bus whether it was going to Delhi. But I was told “They are taking Jaipur riders first.” At first I thought maybe the bus was going to Jaipur via Delhi, so I wasn’t too concerned. But then someone told me I should get in line for the bus tickets, which was weird because I knew the tickets were sold on board the bus. But I went and got into the “line” just in case. The “line” consisted of a group of Indians, all with cash in hand, thrusting it towards the attendants. I guess whoever got the cash snatched up was first in line. Eventually, from scraps, I picked up that the bus was basically being auctioned to either Delhi or Jaipur—whichever group bought the most tickets. Which seems like an unsustainable system. So we were still in line for the regular bus that would leave later, which let me tell you, looked a little grim. First of all because there were about 50 people in line, and second of all because the bus really looked uncomfortable. I hadn’t been set on having AC or a “deluxe” bus, but a little room for my huge backpack would have been a must. But that one sold out, and there were no prospects for another because of the rain, I guess. And this rumored landslide.
Luckily, I found three kids (students) in the same predicament, and long story short, we decided to share a taxi back to Delhi. I offered to pay more for it, and in return they offered to accompany me on the second part of my trip to VasantKunj, Jenny’s part of the city. They said it wasn’t safe riding alone at night. Ignoring the part where I’d only just met them an hour before, I could tell they were being quite chivalrous, and I know for sure now that I made a good character judgment in the end.
I had really looked forward to sleeping on the bus since I hadn’t slept much the night before, up late packing, up early paying off debts and having breakfast. But the boys kept asking me lots of questions and wanting to chat, which was sweet, but annoying when they would do it right as I dozed off. They got me some dinner, chat and some paella, as well as a lassi and a piece of gum.
Finally, I arrived at Jenny’s, where she took good care of me, and then I slept for one blessed hour before the taxi I ordered was due to arrive. Only, it never came. I tried calling them (waking Jenny to get the number), but they had no record of the order. Just as I was ordering another one, a rickshaw drove by, so I was able to catch it. This was very lucky because if I’d been in that neighborhood any longer, the packs of dogs would have probably torn me apart. Nothing swayed them or scared them.
Got to the airport, had been dropped at the wrong terminal and abandoned. Another auto driver offered to take me to the other terminal for 100 rupees! It was ridiculous. I said I’d walk, but he said it was 4 kilometers the back way, which was a mistake on his part. I said I’d pay 40 rupees max if it was 4 kilometers. After all, he’d still be at the airport and able to get another fare right away. He said OK, and he drove me what was significiantly less than 4 km. I got out and gave him a 50, but he said no, and demanded a 100. I argued with him but he was obstinate, as if we hadn’t had our bargaining conversation at all. Finally, I gave him the 100rupee bill that I’d been carrying around for weeks because no one would take it—it was really ratty and had some weird stickers on it. He tried to give it back to me, but I was so angry at him, I jumped out of the auto and said “Huh! I guess you should have taken the 50 after all! Hope you’re happy with your life.” And ran through the ticket gate to where he couldn’t follow. I hadn’t been that angry in a very long time. It was partly because I’d had such bad transportation luck the whole day so far.
After that, it was pretty clear sailing. I got through the tickets bureaucracy pretty easy, thanks to going to Nepal, and was sitting in the terminal waiting, a full hour before the flight took off. There was a slight delay once we got on, maybe because of the rain. They served breakfast, and gave water, and I had taken my altitude sickness pill, and I was sure things would be looking up. And as you saw from my interjections earlier in the entry, things certainly looking more beautiful.
Thursday, February 7, 2008
Book Report: On the Edge of Darkness
On the Edge of Darkness: Conversations About Conquering Depression
Kathy Cronkite
I. About the book and authors
1) Concept of book
§ Cronkite cast a wide net to talk with dozens of people who have in some way experienced depression, and gets their thoughts on a variety of topics. There are celebrities (very successful people), mental health professionals, family members of people with depression.
§ Many of the entries are, as the title suggests, very conversational—they are probably transcriptions of interviews. Many of the more professional opinions are better organized, and obviously have more scientific research behind them. It’s interesting to see the clinical view and the layman’s view laid side-to-side on so many topics.
2) About Kathy Cronkite
§ Former sufferer of unipolar depression, and currently an advocate for depression awareness, here in Austin as latest I can track. She is an author, has had a few other jobs in shows business, and is Walter Cronkite’s daughter.
II. Summary of Book
1) Chapter 1: The Dog and I
§ Cronkite talks about two images of depression: a black hole, and Churchill’s image of a black dog. She prefers this second image—something with you that people not might realize is even there, but you’re constantly aware of it. She gives the straightforward history of her lifelong suffering of depression and the relief when she finally was able to treat is successfully. It depended on her recognizing that it was a chronic illness that she would always be recovering from.
2) Chapter 2: It Takes One to Know One
§ Since it was Mike Wallace’s admission of having depression that gave her courage, she starts off with his account of his own depression. It is interesting that as the accounts progress through the book, one emerging theme is that they list all of the things that were bothering them at the time—in Mike Wallace’s case, a lawsuit, and some worry about his career. But as he and others eventually determine, these things are separate from the disease itself. Everyone has hard things that they have to suffer through in life, but not everyone is victim to the hopeless despondency of depression that renders them incapable of dealing with the issues. Wallace’s account focuses more on his physical symptomotology than his mental state
3) Chapter 3: What Is Depression?
§ A discussion on the colloquial use of the word “depressed,” versus the actual clinical disease. As comes up many times later in the book, this overlap may lead to misunderstandings about what depression actually is.
§ In this chapter, Cronkite mainly talks about bipolar and unipolar. Bipolar has a strong genetic component, and occurs by some studies more or less equally in men. Women are much more likely to suffer from unipolar depression (1:4 by one study). See also the attachment at the end of this book report, with the most up-to-date clinical diagnostic tools for various types of depression.
§ Depression can kill you if untreated. Some of the contributor’s discussions in this chapter made some clear metaphors that opened my eyes—I will stick with the metaphor of diabetes (II). There is a strong genetic component. But people do have some control over whether or not it manifests; but even people who avoid sugar all their lives can still succumb. It also can be treated with ongoing care, but can easily kill you if ignored. This made me think of a literary work, The Sorrows of Young Werther, by Goethe. It comes at the end of a longer conversation, also interesting, but the gist is captured here:"Human nature," I continued, "has its limits. It is able to endure a certain degree of joy, sorrow, and pain, but becomes annihilated as soon as this measure is exceeded. The question, therefore, is, not whether a man is strong or weak, but whether he is able to endure the measure of his sufferings. The suffering may be moral or physical; and in my opinion it is just as absurd to call a man a coward who destroys himself, as to call a man a coward who dies of a malignant fever."Later in the book, there is a moment with Cronkite heard a woman on a radio show arguing that if assisted suicide is okayed for people with chronic disease, people with depression should have the right to make this choice, too. This may have been somewhat the case in Goethe’s time, but the Cronkite wanted very much to make the argument to the caller that 80-90% of cases are successfully treated. There is some more discussion of this in chapter 9, but that chapter is more focused on individual’s experiences with it (but obviously with no one who attempted successfully).
§ This is the first chapter that has a lot of different voices giving their experience. It drives home that depression can have a lot of varying symptoms and degrees of intensity, and one can see why it might not be a simple diagnosis. There is also distinction between sadness and depression.
4) Chapter 4: Black Dog, White Dog
§ Short chapter on bipolar disorder. I found the chapter by Susan Crosby (Lindsay Crosby’s wife) a more interesting examination of the phenomenon. It was interesting that even though bipolar people sometimes will not want to treat their illness because they miss the “highs” and the energy and feeling of accomplishment, it was the highs, and not the lows, that were completely devastating to the Crosbys.
5) Chapter 5: Effects on a Career
§ This and the next chapter on the stigma go together hand in hand. A lot of the discussion in this chapter was about how sufferers had to hide their depression and treatment from employers, mostly out of fear of judgment.
§ Aside from the stigma, however, there is discussion about the difficulty of carrying on a career with consistency with an untreated affective disorder. The Styrons (writers) had to kind of reset their lives when William came down with an unexpected case of severe unipolar depression late in life.
§ One weakness I found in the book was so many of the contributors had rather atypical careers. A lot of them were in show business or politics. And while I did come to see how those particular freelance-esque careers, when you deal with constant judgment by others, could easily precipitate a depression, for the purposes of looking at it from a management perspective, I think the book misses out a lot on the experience of how everyday life depression would exhibit, in and office for instance. The discussions from psychiatric professionals picked up the slack here, but the first-person accounts still seemed unbalanced.
6) Chapter 6: Overcoming the Stigma and the Shame
§ There are a lot of connections between this chapter and chapter 13, which deals with men and women’s different “relationship” to the disease.
§ Many of the accounts say it’s more than just the stigma of a “mental illness.” Whether true or not, many felt there was less stigma with coming out with a substance abuse disorder. Some felt they would still be judged as having a “moral failing,” rather than a disease. One doctor has heard people call it a “wimp’s disease.”
7) Chapter 7: Substance Abuse
§ Several of the contributors had some substance abuse issues as well. There is an interesting discussion about the connection between substance abuse and depression---and how difficult it can be clinically to determine which is the cause and which is the effect. Or if one is masking another completely. Kitty Dukakis’s story most clearly showed how important it is to get to the root diagnosis to really help someone. Substance abuse can be a way of self-medicating a depression, and then can be a way of prolonging it.
8) Chapter 8: Love’s Labour’s Lost: Susan Crosby
§ Susan Crosby tells the story of her marriage to Lindsay Crosby, son of Bing Crosby, who suffered from bipolar disorder. Interesting points: she spent years and years getting herself therapy to figure out why she was so bothered by things (for instance, his sleeping with other women, going on rampant horse-buying binges). There is more discussion of women’s “place” in society and how it relates to depression (she also exhibited signs of depression eventually). Also interesting that as a celebrity and trust-fund kid, Lindsay was surrounded by false friends who just liked him when he was high and fun, and didn’t try to get him help. In fact, they got him out of the psychiatric ward early before he eventually killed himself. Susan blamed this entourage phenomenon on why it took so long to get him treated.
§ On the celebrity phenomenon, in modern terms: it’s not surprising that Brittney Spears is getting treated for bipolar disorder—would it have gone untreated this long if she hadn’t been a celebrity? Because at the same time, she had more opportunities to exhibit her mania—possibly her symptoms wouldn’t have been so pronounced and easily diagnosable if she hadn’t had lots of money and documentation of her every move.
9) Chapter 9: Suicide
§ One repeated theme in the accounts from everyone is that they all had fleeting glimpses of suicide. For some it was just a thought that it would be great if they never woke up. What’s also interesting, since these are all survivors of depression, is what things prevented it in the end. Personal connections, even though they are hard to maintain as a depressive, are important. While one person did owe a friend her life after an actual attempt, more of them explained that there was just enough of the rational sense of them to realize how much it would have broken their families, or anyone left behind.
§ Joan Rivers’s account of her husband’s suicide, and her own subsequent, eventual suicidal thoughts reminded me of another theme that creeps up throughout the book: that in many ways, depression is contagious. While there are clear studies on the strong genetic component of bipolar disorder, unipolar depression is more common, and does occur in families. The idea of how it can effect friends and families is dealt with in chapter 17.
10) Chapter 10: Leslie Garis
§ An short individual account of a woman’s experience with a very long depression, until she sought treatment successfully.
11) Chapter 11: Ya Gotta Have Heart
§ There is a connection between heart disease and depression. In fact, most patients who have had heart attacks or heart surgery are specifically counseled to be on the lookout for depression.
§ Discussion about whether this is because people are facing their own age and mortality.
§ Cronkite mentions that there is frequently a form of post-traumatic stress syndrome when people undergo any surgery, from discussions half-overheard while anaesthetized.
§ While most of the medical professional in the book have been in mental health, there is an account here from a cardiologist that seems to lack some of the empathy of the others. There is definitely an implication from him that heart disease is a more real disease than depression. Naturally, there can be arguments about whether it is more urgent, or more serious. But this is one time where the conversational tone of the book fails—people aren’t given the succinctness to really state their cases, and some sections, taken out of context, might be misinterpretable.
12) Chapter 12: Living with Loss
§ Death and true loss of course cause sadness. This is normal. One difficulty is deciding when a despondency has become a diagnosable depression that should be treated. There are some arbitrary cut-offs (“three months”) for clinicians, but the chapter does drive home that even though there is a difference between normal sadness and depression, it’s still a gradient, and the line is still something drawn by we humans.
13) Chapter 13: Being Woman, Hard Beset
§ Simplified: is the prevalence of unipolar amongst women hormones or society? There is definitely evidence that there is some connection to hormones (women on birth control pills experience atypical depression more often, pregnant women are least likely to experience depression, and postpartum depression is common).
§ Because of the discussion on hormones, a discussion on seasonal affective disorder (SAD) is brought in here because it is believed to be a hormonal issue (in this case, melatonin).
14) Chapter 14: Lifting the Fog
§ Various treatments for depression: drugs vs. cognitive therapy. Strongest evidence is that both combined is much more effective than either separately.
§ One lesson to take away from this chapter’s testimonies is that treatment is not always straightforward or simple, even once the diagnosis is correct. Many doctors don’t have a clear grasp of drug interactions, which can be particularly problematic if a patient is simultaneously undergoing substance abuse treatment.
§ Cognitive therapy: Cronkite had almost been offended that this could work because it seems like someone telling the patient to will themselves out of it, which she had not ever been successful at doing, until she started medication. The lesson is that the treatment will not be the same from one person to the next, but it’s important to believe that there is something that can work.
15) Chapter 15: Beauty and the Beast
§ Are artists more prone to affective disorders? Does it improve their art?
§ Answer: Artists with bipolar disorder can have great productivity as they enter into their manic phases, and this can give them a creative advantage, because their every thought is sped up.
§ Answer: No, artists are only more susceptible to depression because they feel things more deeply, and sense things more acutely as a matter of course in their work.
§ Answer: Artists are constantly exposing themselves to criticism, which may act as a precipitating event, which would make them more likely to suffer.
§ I didn’t find this chapter particularly enlightening—I think this debate can be very interesting. Artists are by definition atypical. People with mental illness are by definition atypical. How much is this coincidence, and do we as society have something to gain (art, beauty) by an artist’s disease remaining untreated?
16) Chapter 16: Existential Blues
§ How do psychology and spirituality overlap? Some might interpret depression as a distance from god. The author’s experience with religion was helpful to her personally, but ultimately she knew it was a separate issue from her depression, and it remained dangerous to go off her medication.
17) Chapter 17: The Black Dog at Home: Support of Family and Friends
§ This chapter was interesting—it was one of the chapters where there was some disagreement within the testimonies. Sufferers of depression and medical professionals talked about what it was best to do if you suspect or know someone is depressed. Some felt it was best to act as if everything was normal. Some felt it was important to recognize that they are suffering from a disease, and to get them help accordingly.
§ There wasn’t as much discussion as I would have thought about protecting yourself from a depressed family member. It had been mentioned in other places in the book. Obviously, in cases of manic patients, physical protection is necessary. But the potentially “contagious” effects of depression are real, with the learned helplessness of dealing with and caring for someone who just won’t get better.
18) Chapter 18: It Tolls for Thee
§ Depression and marriage. A more specific discussion than the previous chapter. Spouses must be patient, but if they are willing to understand the disease, they can be important in helping wit the diagnosis. They may notice early warning signs before a sufferer does.
§ Mostly this chapter seemed to be a way for the contributors to thank their husbands and wives for putting up with a lot and helping them through.
19) Chapter 19: Families in the Dark
§ A chapter introducing the importance of recognizing that depression can run in families, and why talking about the disease can help make diagnosis, and therefore treatment, easier. It’s a bit of a lead-in to the following two chapters.
20) Chapter 20: Children of Depressed Parents
§ Of all the feelings of helplessness that family members can undergo (see previous chapter), it’s the most crucial time for children. If they don’t understand what’s going on (if the parents doesn’t know, or if the parent is too ashamed to explain), they can easily blame themselves for the irrational moods. Several accounts give what they think is the best way to approach the subject with kids. Several accounts show kids who are still afraid of the disease, and who don’t want to talk about it (Cronkite points out it’s important to explain that it’s a treatable disease, something she feels she may have forgotten to stress to her kids).
§ Cronkite’s son: “One thing [that has changed since finding out about the disease]: I’ve known what’s going on, which has made it a whole lot easier on me. Like if you’re on the fourth floor of a building and there’s an explosion, you have no idea what’s happening, but if you heard on the radio that there’s a bomb in that building or a technical explosion, or something, you’d be less scared because you’d know what was going on.”
21) Chapter 21: Children with Depression
§ People have relatively recently begun diagnosing and really accepting that children can be depressed. It is hard to sort out a depression in a kid, because so much diagnosis is based on criteria like “less interest than normal,” when a kid hasn’t been around long enough to have established a normal baseline.
22) Chapter 22: Old Dogs, New Tricks
§ Deals with depression in older people. Again a more difficult diagnosis than with the mainstream population, for one thing because it’s hard to parse out from dementia. They have a few overlapping symptoms, but more difficult is they often occur at the same time (similar to substance abuse—it’s hard to figure out cause, effect, and treat both effectively).
§ Discussion about whether sadness is a normal part of the aging process. There is, after all, loss—loss of youth, and eventually loss of most friends. Again, the distinction has to be made about when it’s time to cut them off, define it as depression, and get them treatment.
§ The longest essay is from Jennie Forehand, who had one other long entry in the book. Her experience with her mother, who was kicked out of assisted living places and suspected of psychotic disorders before she was diagnosed with depression, was fascinating.
23) Chapter 23: Advice to the Players
§ This short chapter is mostly of very short urgings by many of the contributors to get help for the disease if you have it. The advice ranges from “make sure to take care of yourself” to “see a psychiatrist as quickly as you can.” One doctor stresses the importance of both—he believes in alternative therapies, yoga and meditation for instance, but thinks these are largely just a palliative, while medical treatment can offer a real cure.
§ This is an interesting distinction (palliative vs. cure): if depression is just overwhelming sadness, isn’t something that takes one away from the sadness a cure? No, the argument is again, there is something more basic to depression than just the outside emotions, and with a medical origin, it needs a medical cure (see next chapter).
24) Chapter 24: Healing
§ This chapter stresses that the “cure” makes the recovery sound quick, when in reality it’s a long process and involves a lot of work from the patient. Medication may be necessary, but it doesn’t mean it will work like a switch—it will just make it possible for the patient’s willpower to have some effect.
25) Chapter 25: Ad Astra per Aspera
§ “To the stars through difficulty” (uplifting conclusion)
III. Other themes of the book
1) Images of depression
§ Black dog (Churchill)
§ “mist seeping slowly” (p48); hangover/residue (p49); “dark cloudy gauze” (p118); smoky room (p144); “When I would try to explain to people my experience last time I sobered up, I would tell them about a famous painting traditionally called Nightwatch in Amsterdam. It was painted by Rembrandt. It’s a scene of a bunch of seventeenth-century gentleman on the wall of a fortress keeping watch during some battle. For hundreds of years, it has been assumed that it was a night [scene], because it was so dark, until they cleaned it about ten years ago. To everyone’s amazement, it’s actually a day portrait. That’s what it’s like when alcoholics stop drinking. Everything is still there, the way is still there, the kids are still there, all the same people are still there, it’s just a lot lighter than you thought it was.” (Mary Jones, p93)
§ The comparison to diabetes and other diseases.
§ Moral weakness (p78) (this reference made more in relation to the stigma, not any contributor’s actual view)
§ Disconnect from the rewards system (p91) (one of the more clinical assessments, but very a very interesting way to view it)
§ On sadness vs. depression: like a hangnail versus a shotgun wound (p111)
§ The book of Job as a parable about suffering from depression.
2) Arbitrary distinctions that must be made, or things that exist on a continuum
§ Biological vs. psychological (“the brain is the organ of the mind” p31-2)
§ Beck Inventory—one of the most common ways to measure depression. A 21-question quiz
§ Feeling vs. thinking (p49)
§ Schizophrenia vs. bipolar (p57)
§ Alcoholism <-> depression (p88)
§ A call for help vs. a “genuine” suicide attempt
§ Mind/body/spirit
Kathy Cronkite
I. About the book and authors
1) Concept of book
§ Cronkite cast a wide net to talk with dozens of people who have in some way experienced depression, and gets their thoughts on a variety of topics. There are celebrities (very successful people), mental health professionals, family members of people with depression.
§ Many of the entries are, as the title suggests, very conversational—they are probably transcriptions of interviews. Many of the more professional opinions are better organized, and obviously have more scientific research behind them. It’s interesting to see the clinical view and the layman’s view laid side-to-side on so many topics.
2) About Kathy Cronkite
§ Former sufferer of unipolar depression, and currently an advocate for depression awareness, here in Austin as latest I can track. She is an author, has had a few other jobs in shows business, and is Walter Cronkite’s daughter.
II. Summary of Book
1) Chapter 1: The Dog and I
§ Cronkite talks about two images of depression: a black hole, and Churchill’s image of a black dog. She prefers this second image—something with you that people not might realize is even there, but you’re constantly aware of it. She gives the straightforward history of her lifelong suffering of depression and the relief when she finally was able to treat is successfully. It depended on her recognizing that it was a chronic illness that she would always be recovering from.
2) Chapter 2: It Takes One to Know One
§ Since it was Mike Wallace’s admission of having depression that gave her courage, she starts off with his account of his own depression. It is interesting that as the accounts progress through the book, one emerging theme is that they list all of the things that were bothering them at the time—in Mike Wallace’s case, a lawsuit, and some worry about his career. But as he and others eventually determine, these things are separate from the disease itself. Everyone has hard things that they have to suffer through in life, but not everyone is victim to the hopeless despondency of depression that renders them incapable of dealing with the issues. Wallace’s account focuses more on his physical symptomotology than his mental state
3) Chapter 3: What Is Depression?
§ A discussion on the colloquial use of the word “depressed,” versus the actual clinical disease. As comes up many times later in the book, this overlap may lead to misunderstandings about what depression actually is.
§ In this chapter, Cronkite mainly talks about bipolar and unipolar. Bipolar has a strong genetic component, and occurs by some studies more or less equally in men. Women are much more likely to suffer from unipolar depression (1:4 by one study). See also the attachment at the end of this book report, with the most up-to-date clinical diagnostic tools for various types of depression.
§ Depression can kill you if untreated. Some of the contributor’s discussions in this chapter made some clear metaphors that opened my eyes—I will stick with the metaphor of diabetes (II). There is a strong genetic component. But people do have some control over whether or not it manifests; but even people who avoid sugar all their lives can still succumb. It also can be treated with ongoing care, but can easily kill you if ignored. This made me think of a literary work, The Sorrows of Young Werther, by Goethe. It comes at the end of a longer conversation, also interesting, but the gist is captured here:"Human nature," I continued, "has its limits. It is able to endure a certain degree of joy, sorrow, and pain, but becomes annihilated as soon as this measure is exceeded. The question, therefore, is, not whether a man is strong or weak, but whether he is able to endure the measure of his sufferings. The suffering may be moral or physical; and in my opinion it is just as absurd to call a man a coward who destroys himself, as to call a man a coward who dies of a malignant fever."Later in the book, there is a moment with Cronkite heard a woman on a radio show arguing that if assisted suicide is okayed for people with chronic disease, people with depression should have the right to make this choice, too. This may have been somewhat the case in Goethe’s time, but the Cronkite wanted very much to make the argument to the caller that 80-90% of cases are successfully treated. There is some more discussion of this in chapter 9, but that chapter is more focused on individual’s experiences with it (but obviously with no one who attempted successfully).
§ This is the first chapter that has a lot of different voices giving their experience. It drives home that depression can have a lot of varying symptoms and degrees of intensity, and one can see why it might not be a simple diagnosis. There is also distinction between sadness and depression.
4) Chapter 4: Black Dog, White Dog
§ Short chapter on bipolar disorder. I found the chapter by Susan Crosby (Lindsay Crosby’s wife) a more interesting examination of the phenomenon. It was interesting that even though bipolar people sometimes will not want to treat their illness because they miss the “highs” and the energy and feeling of accomplishment, it was the highs, and not the lows, that were completely devastating to the Crosbys.
5) Chapter 5: Effects on a Career
§ This and the next chapter on the stigma go together hand in hand. A lot of the discussion in this chapter was about how sufferers had to hide their depression and treatment from employers, mostly out of fear of judgment.
§ Aside from the stigma, however, there is discussion about the difficulty of carrying on a career with consistency with an untreated affective disorder. The Styrons (writers) had to kind of reset their lives when William came down with an unexpected case of severe unipolar depression late in life.
§ One weakness I found in the book was so many of the contributors had rather atypical careers. A lot of them were in show business or politics. And while I did come to see how those particular freelance-esque careers, when you deal with constant judgment by others, could easily precipitate a depression, for the purposes of looking at it from a management perspective, I think the book misses out a lot on the experience of how everyday life depression would exhibit, in and office for instance. The discussions from psychiatric professionals picked up the slack here, but the first-person accounts still seemed unbalanced.
6) Chapter 6: Overcoming the Stigma and the Shame
§ There are a lot of connections between this chapter and chapter 13, which deals with men and women’s different “relationship” to the disease.
§ Many of the accounts say it’s more than just the stigma of a “mental illness.” Whether true or not, many felt there was less stigma with coming out with a substance abuse disorder. Some felt they would still be judged as having a “moral failing,” rather than a disease. One doctor has heard people call it a “wimp’s disease.”
7) Chapter 7: Substance Abuse
§ Several of the contributors had some substance abuse issues as well. There is an interesting discussion about the connection between substance abuse and depression---and how difficult it can be clinically to determine which is the cause and which is the effect. Or if one is masking another completely. Kitty Dukakis’s story most clearly showed how important it is to get to the root diagnosis to really help someone. Substance abuse can be a way of self-medicating a depression, and then can be a way of prolonging it.
8) Chapter 8: Love’s Labour’s Lost: Susan Crosby
§ Susan Crosby tells the story of her marriage to Lindsay Crosby, son of Bing Crosby, who suffered from bipolar disorder. Interesting points: she spent years and years getting herself therapy to figure out why she was so bothered by things (for instance, his sleeping with other women, going on rampant horse-buying binges). There is more discussion of women’s “place” in society and how it relates to depression (she also exhibited signs of depression eventually). Also interesting that as a celebrity and trust-fund kid, Lindsay was surrounded by false friends who just liked him when he was high and fun, and didn’t try to get him help. In fact, they got him out of the psychiatric ward early before he eventually killed himself. Susan blamed this entourage phenomenon on why it took so long to get him treated.
§ On the celebrity phenomenon, in modern terms: it’s not surprising that Brittney Spears is getting treated for bipolar disorder—would it have gone untreated this long if she hadn’t been a celebrity? Because at the same time, she had more opportunities to exhibit her mania—possibly her symptoms wouldn’t have been so pronounced and easily diagnosable if she hadn’t had lots of money and documentation of her every move.
9) Chapter 9: Suicide
§ One repeated theme in the accounts from everyone is that they all had fleeting glimpses of suicide. For some it was just a thought that it would be great if they never woke up. What’s also interesting, since these are all survivors of depression, is what things prevented it in the end. Personal connections, even though they are hard to maintain as a depressive, are important. While one person did owe a friend her life after an actual attempt, more of them explained that there was just enough of the rational sense of them to realize how much it would have broken their families, or anyone left behind.
§ Joan Rivers’s account of her husband’s suicide, and her own subsequent, eventual suicidal thoughts reminded me of another theme that creeps up throughout the book: that in many ways, depression is contagious. While there are clear studies on the strong genetic component of bipolar disorder, unipolar depression is more common, and does occur in families. The idea of how it can effect friends and families is dealt with in chapter 17.
10) Chapter 10: Leslie Garis
§ An short individual account of a woman’s experience with a very long depression, until she sought treatment successfully.
11) Chapter 11: Ya Gotta Have Heart
§ There is a connection between heart disease and depression. In fact, most patients who have had heart attacks or heart surgery are specifically counseled to be on the lookout for depression.
§ Discussion about whether this is because people are facing their own age and mortality.
§ Cronkite mentions that there is frequently a form of post-traumatic stress syndrome when people undergo any surgery, from discussions half-overheard while anaesthetized.
§ While most of the medical professional in the book have been in mental health, there is an account here from a cardiologist that seems to lack some of the empathy of the others. There is definitely an implication from him that heart disease is a more real disease than depression. Naturally, there can be arguments about whether it is more urgent, or more serious. But this is one time where the conversational tone of the book fails—people aren’t given the succinctness to really state their cases, and some sections, taken out of context, might be misinterpretable.
12) Chapter 12: Living with Loss
§ Death and true loss of course cause sadness. This is normal. One difficulty is deciding when a despondency has become a diagnosable depression that should be treated. There are some arbitrary cut-offs (“three months”) for clinicians, but the chapter does drive home that even though there is a difference between normal sadness and depression, it’s still a gradient, and the line is still something drawn by we humans.
13) Chapter 13: Being Woman, Hard Beset
§ Simplified: is the prevalence of unipolar amongst women hormones or society? There is definitely evidence that there is some connection to hormones (women on birth control pills experience atypical depression more often, pregnant women are least likely to experience depression, and postpartum depression is common).
§ Because of the discussion on hormones, a discussion on seasonal affective disorder (SAD) is brought in here because it is believed to be a hormonal issue (in this case, melatonin).
14) Chapter 14: Lifting the Fog
§ Various treatments for depression: drugs vs. cognitive therapy. Strongest evidence is that both combined is much more effective than either separately.
§ One lesson to take away from this chapter’s testimonies is that treatment is not always straightforward or simple, even once the diagnosis is correct. Many doctors don’t have a clear grasp of drug interactions, which can be particularly problematic if a patient is simultaneously undergoing substance abuse treatment.
§ Cognitive therapy: Cronkite had almost been offended that this could work because it seems like someone telling the patient to will themselves out of it, which she had not ever been successful at doing, until she started medication. The lesson is that the treatment will not be the same from one person to the next, but it’s important to believe that there is something that can work.
15) Chapter 15: Beauty and the Beast
§ Are artists more prone to affective disorders? Does it improve their art?
§ Answer: Artists with bipolar disorder can have great productivity as they enter into their manic phases, and this can give them a creative advantage, because their every thought is sped up.
§ Answer: No, artists are only more susceptible to depression because they feel things more deeply, and sense things more acutely as a matter of course in their work.
§ Answer: Artists are constantly exposing themselves to criticism, which may act as a precipitating event, which would make them more likely to suffer.
§ I didn’t find this chapter particularly enlightening—I think this debate can be very interesting. Artists are by definition atypical. People with mental illness are by definition atypical. How much is this coincidence, and do we as society have something to gain (art, beauty) by an artist’s disease remaining untreated?
16) Chapter 16: Existential Blues
§ How do psychology and spirituality overlap? Some might interpret depression as a distance from god. The author’s experience with religion was helpful to her personally, but ultimately she knew it was a separate issue from her depression, and it remained dangerous to go off her medication.
17) Chapter 17: The Black Dog at Home: Support of Family and Friends
§ This chapter was interesting—it was one of the chapters where there was some disagreement within the testimonies. Sufferers of depression and medical professionals talked about what it was best to do if you suspect or know someone is depressed. Some felt it was best to act as if everything was normal. Some felt it was important to recognize that they are suffering from a disease, and to get them help accordingly.
§ There wasn’t as much discussion as I would have thought about protecting yourself from a depressed family member. It had been mentioned in other places in the book. Obviously, in cases of manic patients, physical protection is necessary. But the potentially “contagious” effects of depression are real, with the learned helplessness of dealing with and caring for someone who just won’t get better.
18) Chapter 18: It Tolls for Thee
§ Depression and marriage. A more specific discussion than the previous chapter. Spouses must be patient, but if they are willing to understand the disease, they can be important in helping wit the diagnosis. They may notice early warning signs before a sufferer does.
§ Mostly this chapter seemed to be a way for the contributors to thank their husbands and wives for putting up with a lot and helping them through.
19) Chapter 19: Families in the Dark
§ A chapter introducing the importance of recognizing that depression can run in families, and why talking about the disease can help make diagnosis, and therefore treatment, easier. It’s a bit of a lead-in to the following two chapters.
20) Chapter 20: Children of Depressed Parents
§ Of all the feelings of helplessness that family members can undergo (see previous chapter), it’s the most crucial time for children. If they don’t understand what’s going on (if the parents doesn’t know, or if the parent is too ashamed to explain), they can easily blame themselves for the irrational moods. Several accounts give what they think is the best way to approach the subject with kids. Several accounts show kids who are still afraid of the disease, and who don’t want to talk about it (Cronkite points out it’s important to explain that it’s a treatable disease, something she feels she may have forgotten to stress to her kids).
§ Cronkite’s son: “One thing [that has changed since finding out about the disease]: I’ve known what’s going on, which has made it a whole lot easier on me. Like if you’re on the fourth floor of a building and there’s an explosion, you have no idea what’s happening, but if you heard on the radio that there’s a bomb in that building or a technical explosion, or something, you’d be less scared because you’d know what was going on.”
21) Chapter 21: Children with Depression
§ People have relatively recently begun diagnosing and really accepting that children can be depressed. It is hard to sort out a depression in a kid, because so much diagnosis is based on criteria like “less interest than normal,” when a kid hasn’t been around long enough to have established a normal baseline.
22) Chapter 22: Old Dogs, New Tricks
§ Deals with depression in older people. Again a more difficult diagnosis than with the mainstream population, for one thing because it’s hard to parse out from dementia. They have a few overlapping symptoms, but more difficult is they often occur at the same time (similar to substance abuse—it’s hard to figure out cause, effect, and treat both effectively).
§ Discussion about whether sadness is a normal part of the aging process. There is, after all, loss—loss of youth, and eventually loss of most friends. Again, the distinction has to be made about when it’s time to cut them off, define it as depression, and get them treatment.
§ The longest essay is from Jennie Forehand, who had one other long entry in the book. Her experience with her mother, who was kicked out of assisted living places and suspected of psychotic disorders before she was diagnosed with depression, was fascinating.
23) Chapter 23: Advice to the Players
§ This short chapter is mostly of very short urgings by many of the contributors to get help for the disease if you have it. The advice ranges from “make sure to take care of yourself” to “see a psychiatrist as quickly as you can.” One doctor stresses the importance of both—he believes in alternative therapies, yoga and meditation for instance, but thinks these are largely just a palliative, while medical treatment can offer a real cure.
§ This is an interesting distinction (palliative vs. cure): if depression is just overwhelming sadness, isn’t something that takes one away from the sadness a cure? No, the argument is again, there is something more basic to depression than just the outside emotions, and with a medical origin, it needs a medical cure (see next chapter).
24) Chapter 24: Healing
§ This chapter stresses that the “cure” makes the recovery sound quick, when in reality it’s a long process and involves a lot of work from the patient. Medication may be necessary, but it doesn’t mean it will work like a switch—it will just make it possible for the patient’s willpower to have some effect.
25) Chapter 25: Ad Astra per Aspera
§ “To the stars through difficulty” (uplifting conclusion)
III. Other themes of the book
1) Images of depression
§ Black dog (Churchill)
§ “mist seeping slowly” (p48); hangover/residue (p49); “dark cloudy gauze” (p118); smoky room (p144); “When I would try to explain to people my experience last time I sobered up, I would tell them about a famous painting traditionally called Nightwatch in Amsterdam. It was painted by Rembrandt. It’s a scene of a bunch of seventeenth-century gentleman on the wall of a fortress keeping watch during some battle. For hundreds of years, it has been assumed that it was a night [scene], because it was so dark, until they cleaned it about ten years ago. To everyone’s amazement, it’s actually a day portrait. That’s what it’s like when alcoholics stop drinking. Everything is still there, the way is still there, the kids are still there, all the same people are still there, it’s just a lot lighter than you thought it was.” (Mary Jones, p93)
§ The comparison to diabetes and other diseases.
§ Moral weakness (p78) (this reference made more in relation to the stigma, not any contributor’s actual view)
§ Disconnect from the rewards system (p91) (one of the more clinical assessments, but very a very interesting way to view it)
§ On sadness vs. depression: like a hangnail versus a shotgun wound (p111)
§ The book of Job as a parable about suffering from depression.
2) Arbitrary distinctions that must be made, or things that exist on a continuum
§ Biological vs. psychological (“the brain is the organ of the mind” p31-2)
§ Beck Inventory—one of the most common ways to measure depression. A 21-question quiz
§ Feeling vs. thinking (p49)
§ Schizophrenia vs. bipolar (p57)
§ Alcoholism <-> depression (p88)
§ A call for help vs. a “genuine” suicide attempt
§ Mind/body/spirit
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
Depth Psychology: Jung
[...Depth Psychology continued...]
Remember, Freud in particular saw only ill patients, with “fat and juicy” neuroses.
Transference—patient see therapist as all-knowing, wise, father-figure etc. Similar to the defense of identification (think teens with sports heroes), but it’s not a defense mechanism, the word is just a phenomenon in the therapy process. It’s important because in the organizational setting, which is based on rank/hierarchy, underling may transfer childhood needs. Mentor may also transfer parental feelings (sort of counter-transference).
Jung’s additional level of consciousness:
-awareness
-preconscious
-personal unconscious
-collective unconscious (Jung’s idea)
Collective unconscious composed of archetypal “memories.”
Jung was impressed by shamans, who would make the distinction between “little dreams” and “big dreams” (which were composed of/included big, archetypal symbols). He felt those came from collective unconsciousness. Myth important to understanding the collective unconscious.
Handout: Jung’s diagram of the psyche.
The shadow: all the things we’re ashamed of about ourselves. Often suppressed, therefore often revealed in dreams.
Jung’s goal of individuation: to move more of the personal unconscious into the conscious. Also, integration of the anima/animus, because the pathway to the collective unconscious is our opposite-sex figure (clearer from diagram).
Alex’s book report: Jung’s autobiography
Schott’s additional notes: Jung had a psychotic episode in 1912. Possibly some rebellion against dogma/organized religion because of his father’s church affiliation.
Remember, Freud in particular saw only ill patients, with “fat and juicy” neuroses.
Transference—patient see therapist as all-knowing, wise, father-figure etc. Similar to the defense of identification (think teens with sports heroes), but it’s not a defense mechanism, the word is just a phenomenon in the therapy process. It’s important because in the organizational setting, which is based on rank/hierarchy, underling may transfer childhood needs. Mentor may also transfer parental feelings (sort of counter-transference).
Jung’s additional level of consciousness:
-awareness
-preconscious
-personal unconscious
-collective unconscious (Jung’s idea)
Collective unconscious composed of archetypal “memories.”
Jung was impressed by shamans, who would make the distinction between “little dreams” and “big dreams” (which were composed of/included big, archetypal symbols). He felt those came from collective unconsciousness. Myth important to understanding the collective unconscious.
Handout: Jung’s diagram of the psyche.
The shadow: all the things we’re ashamed of about ourselves. Often suppressed, therefore often revealed in dreams.
Jung’s goal of individuation: to move more of the personal unconscious into the conscious. Also, integration of the anima/animus, because the pathway to the collective unconscious is our opposite-sex figure (clearer from diagram).
Alex’s book report: Jung’s autobiography
Schott’s additional notes: Jung had a psychotic episode in 1912. Possibly some rebellion against dogma/organized religion because of his father’s church affiliation.
Saturday, December 15, 2007
Friday, November 30, 2007
Twin Oaks Community
I don't think I ever posted a link to Twin Oaks Intentional Community. I think all of you might find it interesting, and there is a 3 week visitor program (I intially did that just out of curiosity, then stayed for the summer). It's been great during this course to have had this experience to tie a lot of the ideas to.
It was initially begun to simulate Walden 2, BF Skinner's book, but as it's a true democracy, its goals and workings have changed very organically over time. I could do a whole update about the community, and how much it represents the ideals of things (resilience especially comes to mind) that have come up repeatedly during the course. If I can remember enough things about the place, I will do a more full update, but I really encourage you to visit the link. It's what got me interested in all of the forms of shared housing (co-op, cohousing) that I have incorporated into my life plans.
It was initially begun to simulate Walden 2, BF Skinner's book, but as it's a true democracy, its goals and workings have changed very organically over time. I could do a whole update about the community, and how much it represents the ideals of things (resilience especially comes to mind) that have come up repeatedly during the course. If I can remember enough things about the place, I will do a more full update, but I really encourage you to visit the link. It's what got me interested in all of the forms of shared housing (co-op, cohousing) that I have incorporated into my life plans.
Saturday, November 10, 2007
Photographs from the Edible Schoolyard, New Orleans, main campus
It turns out I chose a great weekend to visit the Edible Schoolyard. This Saturday was their first "open garden" open to the school's parents, the neigborhood, and anyong who wanted to come. I went on a tour with the school chef.
The school is a charter school, K-8, opened last year (though the building had been a school for at least 50 years). They apparently have a second, smaller campus now, with 45 students, but I didn't see that one. Those are the basics.
The not-so-basics is that the majority of the school's lesson plans are based around food and gardening, with an emphasis on outdoor activities and classes. It really brought me back to my own experiences and memories of childhood at a New Orleans public school. By far, my most vivid memories are from lunchtime (not recess), field trips, and when we got to have class outside. (Also, one time that I stacked some books for my teacher really efficiently, but that doesn't apply here.) All of those things are all day every day at this school! If they can really manage to work in a regular curriculum on top of it, these kids are definitely going to be much more engaged than the average schoolchild.
Further thoughts that my visit engendered as photo captions below:
Most of the gardens are of edible foods. This is the herb garden, which was the first thing I saw upon entering. Apparently during the first year, before they were able to get much of the land workable, the kids asked if they could just start some raised gardens, and this was one of the pods that were completely student-initiated. That giant palm-looking plant in the back is lemongrass! My parents have one at their house, and they'd begun to doubt that lemongrass really got that big.
During the tour, which was mainly outside of the building, she mentioned that while there is tons of rennovations to be done inside and out, the priority for the school is rennovating the outside of the building first. First, obviously, because of the focus of the school on gardening. But before taking this course, I still would have found the painted external walls (like above) a little bit superficial. Now I recognize, and so does the school, how important the veneer is. The window frames are crumbling away, and the panes are nearly opaque with dust. But it's not depressing when all around it is a green and vibrant garden.
Another thought I had as I relived some of my own schooldays--how many recess playgrounds are just blacktop? Like melts-in-the-summer, burns-your-feet-through-your-rubber-soles blacktop? My sense is most urban ones anyway. How will kids ever appreciate unpaved earth if that's all they know, if that chemical tar smell is associated with the fun of recess? An ESY summer project was to replace the blacktop section with a brick courtyard, with spots for shade trees throughout. Again, even though I hadn't seen the original blacktop, I was amazed at how drastically the renovation must have improved the look and feel of the area.
My mom, who lives in the neighborhood, even noted how spruced up the neighborhood around had begun to look. Whereas most people don't really want to live near a school, this one seems to be a potential central point for the surrounding community.
They have plans to involved the surrounding community more. This open garden I attended was the first, but it will become a monthly tradition. They will also eventually participate in a nearby farmer's market with some of the kids. Since it's a charter school, anyone can attend it, but as they are getting better established, more kids from the nearby area have begun to attend this year.
Hmm...that photo ended up looking more like a prison yard than I intended. But I wanted to show a volunteer working in the garden alongside how urban the surrounding area is. During the tour, our guide said 98% of the students lived under the poverty line(!).
This is a vegetable garden. The guide pointed out that one grade planted it and the next class had to carry it out. This teaches an important lesson in patience and long-term investment in a project. But students would also learn the lesson that there is value in creating something even if you yourself can't use it. They in turn probably inherit projects that the class ahead of them started.
To me, the garden of plants not edible (to humans, anyway) has clear implications in teaching about ecology. And by extension, using Capra's analogy, communities. They can learn that pragmatism, with its focus on results and actions, does not have to be a focus on immediate results. There is both an aesthetic and critical importance to having certain insects in a garden.
___
Lastly, although I didn't get a picture to illustrate it, my favorite example of one of the community-building tools was for consensus. The faculty does aim to involve the kids in all aspects of the decision making, and while consensus would be particularly hard in a K-8 setting, there is at least some attempt at it. The scarecrow-making process tried to acommodate everyone's preferences. That's how they ended up with a policeman-scarecrow (with cheetah legs and a panther tail), and a soldier-scarecrow (holding a child, and with a clown's head). Scary...
The school is a charter school, K-8, opened last year (though the building had been a school for at least 50 years). They apparently have a second, smaller campus now, with 45 students, but I didn't see that one. Those are the basics.
The not-so-basics is that the majority of the school's lesson plans are based around food and gardening, with an emphasis on outdoor activities and classes. It really brought me back to my own experiences and memories of childhood at a New Orleans public school. By far, my most vivid memories are from lunchtime (not recess), field trips, and when we got to have class outside. (Also, one time that I stacked some books for my teacher really efficiently, but that doesn't apply here.) All of those things are all day every day at this school! If they can really manage to work in a regular curriculum on top of it, these kids are definitely going to be much more engaged than the average schoolchild.
Further thoughts that my visit engendered as photo captions below:
Most of the gardens are of edible foods. This is the herb garden, which was the first thing I saw upon entering. Apparently during the first year, before they were able to get much of the land workable, the kids asked if they could just start some raised gardens, and this was one of the pods that were completely student-initiated. That giant palm-looking plant in the back is lemongrass! My parents have one at their house, and they'd begun to doubt that lemongrass really got that big.
During the tour, which was mainly outside of the building, she mentioned that while there is tons of rennovations to be done inside and out, the priority for the school is rennovating the outside of the building first. First, obviously, because of the focus of the school on gardening. But before taking this course, I still would have found the painted external walls (like above) a little bit superficial. Now I recognize, and so does the school, how important the veneer is. The window frames are crumbling away, and the panes are nearly opaque with dust. But it's not depressing when all around it is a green and vibrant garden.
Another thought I had as I relived some of my own schooldays--how many recess playgrounds are just blacktop? Like melts-in-the-summer, burns-your-feet-through-your-rubber-soles blacktop? My sense is most urban ones anyway. How will kids ever appreciate unpaved earth if that's all they know, if that chemical tar smell is associated with the fun of recess? An ESY summer project was to replace the blacktop section with a brick courtyard, with spots for shade trees throughout. Again, even though I hadn't seen the original blacktop, I was amazed at how drastically the renovation must have improved the look and feel of the area.
My mom, who lives in the neighborhood, even noted how spruced up the neighborhood around had begun to look. Whereas most people don't really want to live near a school, this one seems to be a potential central point for the surrounding community.
They have plans to involved the surrounding community more. This open garden I attended was the first, but it will become a monthly tradition. They will also eventually participate in a nearby farmer's market with some of the kids. Since it's a charter school, anyone can attend it, but as they are getting better established, more kids from the nearby area have begun to attend this year.
Hmm...that photo ended up looking more like a prison yard than I intended. But I wanted to show a volunteer working in the garden alongside how urban the surrounding area is. During the tour, our guide said 98% of the students lived under the poverty line(!).
This is a vegetable garden. The guide pointed out that one grade planted it and the next class had to carry it out. This teaches an important lesson in patience and long-term investment in a project. But students would also learn the lesson that there is value in creating something even if you yourself can't use it. They in turn probably inherit projects that the class ahead of them started.
To me, the garden of plants not edible (to humans, anyway) has clear implications in teaching about ecology. And by extension, using Capra's analogy, communities. They can learn that pragmatism, with its focus on results and actions, does not have to be a focus on immediate results. There is both an aesthetic and critical importance to having certain insects in a garden.
___
Lastly, although I didn't get a picture to illustrate it, my favorite example of one of the community-building tools was for consensus. The faculty does aim to involve the kids in all aspects of the decision making, and while consensus would be particularly hard in a K-8 setting, there is at least some attempt at it. The scarecrow-making process tried to acommodate everyone's preferences. That's how they ended up with a policeman-scarecrow (with cheetah legs and a panther tail), and a soldier-scarecrow (holding a child, and with a clown's head). Scary...
from the drive
On the drive to New Orleans, I was listening to Stephen Covey's lectures of the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. I'd listened to it before, after getting over the impression that it was aimed at go-getter businessperson types. But re-listening to some of them in the car, I was struck with how so many of his ideas have the same goals of asset-building and highlight building social capital to realize a lot more goals than you can as individuals. If I had a print version of the book, it would be easier to reference, but the in a broad sense, the way he defines "habits" is the sustainability. It's the underying assets that you need in order to continually use without depleting. And his definition of "effective" could be interpreted as developing. Anyway, just part of the long drive...nothing I could use in a paper, just interesting how many places I've been seeing the same ideas, at their very basic, since starting this semester.
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